senyum...

hendak ku pastikan semuanya indah utk dirinya...
mahuku binakan semua yg sempurna baginya...
tp aku terlalu mencuba... aku terlalu memaksa akhirnya...
hati ini kadang2 inginkan semuanya...
hati ini selalu hanya tahu berkeras meninggi ego...
otak pula sentiasa mahu negatif...
otak juga menjadi celaru tanpa arah...
puas sudah aku terluka... dgn nya aku tak mahu menjadi serupa
kerna itu ku cuba menjaga...
tp dlm tak sedar rupanya hanya memaksa...
cukuplah hati... sudahlah otak...
jd la bibir yg sentiasa mengukir senyum...
walau hati egokan diri, walau otak memberontak

Live with it, Deal with it...

there have been so many times you get upset, angry and all disappointed by things that shouldn't be an issue to brag about... i am one of you! bloody hate it at times... that many times too that i made others upset of my act and decisions. so many times that i remind myself of not to be so uptight... but to no avail, the -ve always takes control of all that can be +ve.

why not b +ve of whatever that happens... i've always get upset about things like no reply from a message, waiting for too long, and all small things that could become a virus... sigh! who ever thinks i am happy to live with it? i want to change things that is happening in my life... but i have to sort my mind out...

first it have to be the mind set... patience, patience, patience... don't ever do somethg witout it... from there you'll be able to control your mind and look at things on a positive side. whatever that happens, pasue and have a breather... think of what could it be, what should b done but stop taking -ve thoughts into it...

well, let try this and see how things goes. some people say i do think too much... and now, i dont want to think of anythg... just live with it, deal with it...

new year...

just got back from jakarta... was there for the last weekend. unfortunately I dont enjoy jakarta much... semak dan serabut. golf was good... enjoyed the course and the company but outside of golf... hmmm, nothing much to talk abt actually. my trip was a bit dull I should say.

earlier this month I was in Singapore... celebrating new year with my family... had some round of golf too... great time with my father's friends. manage to win few hundred ringgits... heheheh! semua tak puas hati nk repeat. nad yes... we had a repeat game and guess what, dendam tak terbalas. heheheh! sorry uncles...

guess my golf has improve for quite a bit. love it to pieces and trying to get more freinds to join the crazy game. it is crazy... I've been going crazy about the new craze of LOUDMOUTH GOLF... great variety of design for golfing attire. trust me... those designs are very loud. heheheh!

btw, congrats to my mate, Hadry on his wedding... tiba2 je kahwin. well, dh smpi jodoh kan... saw the video of how they met, how they went thru the relationship... good for them that it lasted for so long. na dso happy for them. harap2 kekal hingga ke anak cucu... hingga ke syurga.

Ku ada kamu

the most uplifting song for the year 2011... well at least for me.

i dont know... i guess this song hv a strong character to bring me back to life whenever i'm down. well, last year... i don't know. i think my life was never as complicated... ada je benda yg tak kena dgn aku. skang, aku hadap sendiri hidup ni... yg selalu tak menentu. people say i should relax a little more... leave all the -ve thoughts behind... i wasnt like this... where is my +ve attitude that i hv possesed? lately i'm being so uptight... ntah la... i dont like to share. maybe thats is why... ntah la... only God knows how i feel... i dont even understand myself.

new year???

New Year... what does it brings me? i dont know... nothing perhaps... towards the end, there'll always be problems for me. but who cares? and why the fuck do i hv to bother abt new year? tell me... its gonna be the same old... same old... new year's resolution? i never have one. apsal la nk kena ada azam2 ni semua? kau nk buat, kau buat... taknak sudah... tak salah kot berazam tgh2 tahun... kenapa asal tahun baru je kena berazam? pegi la mati...

asal tahun baru je, mcm2 benda yg aku kena hadap... hujung tahun je mesti aku down. kimaks betul la... new year, u can go fuck yourself...

merepek je...

lama nye tak blog... last bila ntah. lately otak serabut, byk sgt fikirkan pasal itu dan ini, begitu dan begini... tp kenapa aku kisah sgt fikir benda2 negatif ni? selalu boleh je aku fikir benda2 yg positif? mana hilang semangat always positif yg aku ada? ntah la... maybe KL yg jadikan aku mcm ni... Perth dulu ok je. sentiasa aku be positive.

aku ke yg kejarkan sgt benda2 ni? rasanya aku dh try utk cukup berhati2... dlm apa jua yg aku buat... no, I am not sad. just that I wonder why do things r so complicated? y r things so difficult? nevermind... its life some people said. i hv to face it and not runaway... problems come when we less expect it. obstacles are always there which ever way we going.

ada masanye rasa mcm nk tinggalkan je semua benda... pergi dari apa saja yg pernah ada dlm hidup ni. ddk somewhere yg org tak kenal and start a new fresh life. tp senang la berckp, buat tgk... hmmmmm, apa nk jadi?

the path that I took...

I always keep in mind that there are many path that could take me to where I want to be... It is still the same place where you wanna go, the same thing you'll see. Except that different path you took brings you different experience all together. Some takes a longer time to the destination, some can be so beautiful not to forget those that inflict pain.

Me... I hv always wandered ard the path that I took. A friend told me once, it is fine to wander on the path you are on. Take some time to enjoy and feel the moment and experience anythg that you could gain from the 'somethg different thing' from everyone else.

I do wonder if things that I decide to do will make me happy... There are times that the experience I gain from the path that I took inflict so much pain. But hey, if ever someone asked me for what to do in those situation, I would know cz I do hv the expereince... The pain inflicted sometimes makes you the man you are now... a totally different person from who you wanna be - could be for good or bad. After all it is God's way of showing us what we need to learn, how he turn our white plain sheet into somethg full of colours.

This past few months was a roller coaster ride for me... Sometimes I think I am the king... feels like I am on top of the world. At times I can be at the lowest point of life that deter the morale and decrease my confidence level... I can be happy for a second and be very sad the next.

Sometimes I easily gets frustrated of what I can't get. It brings misery to some people, I know... and I'm sorry. I can't help it. I tried to not be frustrated but somehow it sticks harder in my head. And somehow I don't care what I'm going thru as long as I'm happy... I've got no regrets at all suprisingly.

And finally...
I miss you so much... I hv forgoten ur smell & I'm sorry. But ur beautiful features always bring smiles to my face though now I never touch you. I've touched you all over and you've satisfied me again and again. Dear PERTH... I'll see you soon. hahahahah! cheeky bastards, thinking of somethg else aren't ya?

Yes... I'm flying out to Perth tomorrow. Can't wait! See ya later KL... :)